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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

A Domestic Spat

Marriages go through their occasional trials and tribulations. Some couples emerge closer after a hard knock; some choose to go separately while the others remain status quo.

I was sensible enough not to antagonise him further lest he resorted to the unthinkable!

It was another one of those spats involving the children's affairs. I guess he was tired, both physically and mentally after a long week and all he wanted was to get his siesta. I had just stepped into the house after work and I was feeling somewhat moody.

Then it happened. I made assumptions and jumped to certain conclusions when I thought what the kids were up to and their father snoring soundly in the bedroom. Without hesitation, I began a torrent of rants; my decibel rising with each statement I uttered. I marched into the bedroom, obviously irritated that he was asleep while my kids were left to mind their own business.

'Had they finished their homework? Did he monitor them while I was at work?' These thoughts were playing mentally as my temper escalated, allowing my emotions to overcome my own senses. 'We are pulling them in different directions, poor kids,' I thought in exasperation.

That afternoon saw the culmination of heat and tension between us. I had exploded without thinking twice. The kids tried to explain but I wasn't listening. Like most women who can't think rationally when they are emotional, I just wanted to be heard. Well, the Man had been jolted out of his siesta and had heard it all.

He walked into the kitchen, silent but simmering like a pot of curry. I sensed his temper rising too but I continued ranting assertively. Finally, he spoke. He must've tried to tell me that the kids had done their school work already though not in the most gentle tone that I wanted to hear. I was very worked up by then. I continued to vent!

Like a tiger unleashed from its chain, the man finally exploded. All within earshot. My kids stared at us, wondering what was going to happen next. I stormed into the bedroom and sulked, acting like a teenage rebel who didn't want to listen. He trailed after me and closed the door shut behind us.

For the umpteenth time, I realised I had pushed him to his limits again. We had different goals and ideals for our children. He was tired of dealing with me. His eyes stared daggers at me as he raised his voice authoritatively and I began to cow. He had enough. I was silent this time. One more push and I could be dead meat!

I decided it was time I thought about my own future lest he carried out his threat. 'I'm going to work harder after what he said', I resolved to myself.

The extra assignments I took up lately since the spat have been financially promising. My work ended past dinner time the other night. That gave us a chance to text when I messaged that I was having a quick dinner first.

"You could've joined us but you made a choice to work," he responded while chilling at the cafĂ© with our children. Our family enjoys tea-time and supper-time when the time permits.

"I have to. After what you said, I'm no longer feeling secure!" came my retort. He was silent.

I had taken the public transport back from town which took much longer than usual. Then he texted again and asked if I needed a lift from the train station.

'At least he still cares,' I thought quietly while waiting for a cab at the station.

"I'm fine, just make sure the kids go to bed".

Its been two weeks since our spat. Things have quietened between us. Our conversation still surround the children's affairs. Between us, we are more civil and superficial lest each trigger the other's mood again. I have also compromised, giving him room to have some of his way with the kids.

"He had uttered it at the spur of the moment, he won't raise the subject again", my closest buddy revealed to me recently.

She had played the middleman over the weekend after I told her what happened between us.

"I hope so", I mumbled.

As for my work, I'm still determined to work harder. He has rocked my boat.